We’ve all heard the metaphor turning lemons into lemonade before but the truth of the matter is no one is better at turning lemons into lemonade than Black Women. We are professionals at turning totally fucked up, unfair, and bleak circumstances into the most magnificent source of light. We are educated like never before, we are financially stable than ever before, we are showing up at voting poles getting the wrong people out of power like never before, we are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs! (Insert a Black Girl Magic Yaaassss!) Do you think we have gotten here by always being docile? No! Instead of being celebrated for being beautiful warriors we are labeled angry. No one ever discusses why we are even in these positions, but that’s another post for another day! Lol
As a result of society labeling us angry and bitter at times I feel like as soon as I stick up for myself in a situation I feel as if I will be stereotyped. At a very young age I realized I had to learn to stand up for myself, I was the youngest, I was bussed out, and I lived in the hood. But here I am in my 30s questioning myself because I don’t want to be An Angry Black Woman. The sad part is daily I am tested with disrespect, I almost feel like people will provoke you so you can go awf. I recently went to Dunkin Donuts ordered my coffee which was not correct. I asked for a refund, instead of going back and forth. I addressed her by her name, thanked her for her patience. She told me to come inside to get my refund. I entered Dunkin Donuts, and asked about my refund and the manager began to go off and tell me she is busy and doesn’t have time for me right now. She continued to disrespect me, and now we are at 15 minutes. The calmer I stood there it seemed the angrier she got, I then asked for her name which she refused. I informed if she thought I was going to crazy like a video circulating the internet, it wasn’t going to happen and if she thought I was leaving without my money that also wasn’t going to happen. After standing there for about 20 minutes smiling I received my refund which she didn’t complete she instructed someone else to do, (which she could have done 20 minutes prior). I said not today devil and I kindly emailed corporate. I came outside last week to see a car partially blocking my driveway. When I asked the man who doesn’t live on my street by the way, he told me I can maneuver out my driveway. He will move when he sees me getting into my car. I was so flabbergasted here is a stranger, a black man telling me I don’t have the right to have my driveway clear. Its almost like people are bothered when Black Women know who they are, know their worth and refuse to settle for being treated less than. I then tried to appease him in my own yard. It wasn’t until another Black Man came and said why are you bothering her? (He meant bullying). Leave her alone and just move your car was when this stranger decided to move his car. I could go on for days with examples but me trying to pacify a stranger’s behavior made me feel like I could literally feel myself shrinking.
The best athlete alive Serena Williams was treated unfairly, condemned by media, and fined for behaving just like white male passionate tennis players; stereotypes don’t stop at a certain bank account number. When I watched the match and watch her stand up for self and do the same at a press conference with no regret. She reminded not to shrink, not to lose my strength. Yet, I understand everyone and everything doesn’t deserve a reaction even if they are wrong. I am not allowing meaningless things/people rob me of my energy. But there are times where there is no option but to let someone know – “You got me fucked up.”
Do I think only black women are treated unfairly? Absolutely not. However I do feel when we react like any sane human with a heart and a brain it becomes an issue. Then it hit me (insert an Aha-Moment) Beyonce didn’t just name the album lemonade because you can turn lemons into lemonade but she knows no one turns lemons into lemonade quite like Black Women because we are Lemonade Connoisseurs.
Thanks for stopping by!
Wishing you no pain unless it’s Champagne!