I have always enjoyed my birthday like most females that turn their born day into a long weekend extravaganza. Out of nowhere every year as my birthday nears, starting right after Christmas I get into a funk. I am overly emotional, vulnerable and easily offended. I woke up on my 30th birthday on a girl’s weekend getaway in Atlantic City crying. All I could hear was Kanye and Maroon 5 playing – “And I heard ’em say, nothin’s ever promised tomorrow today.” My big sister Tiffany came into the bathroom and said, “Cut the shh!” we had birthday shots and that was that lol. But every year since then like clockwork birthday blues ensue, I couldn’t understand why. I was watching an episode of The Kardashians’ on this particular episode Kourtney was turning 40. She was overly emotional and vulnerable crying the entire episode about the smallest things. Her family was giving her a hard time until they realized what was going on- “The Birthday Blues.” In a sobbing moment Kourtney said she feels like she needs to have it all figured out by her birthday- and by all she meant life. Like an epiphany I understood this happens to me. I found 2 books from fifth grade in my mama’s house and my fifth-grade self said I was going to have 2 kids, a husband, a suv, college degree from a school down south amongst other goals. Every year my birthday comes, I realize I didn’t live up to 5th grade Ericka’s expectations and I am running out of time. I feel like I let that little girl down. And I began to obsess how did I go from this fearless girl to this over thinking woman? After about 2 weeks of literally crying daily and carrying funky energy I made a commitment to fight the blues and enjoy my birthday.
When your vibration is low, your energy literally feels heavy because you are not in alignment with your soul and you are functioning from your lower self or ego. When you are vibrating at a higher level, you feel lighter, happier, and more at ease. Color, light, sound, and activities all can affect your vibrations. There are certain sounds, color, even people that elevate my energies and vibrations. Solange’s last album “When I Get Home,” is my current go to for raising my vibrations. The album sounds like neo soul with chimes and synthesizers. Those specific sounds make me feel good and light and slowly raises my mood, hopes and expectations. Companied with Solo is Ari Lennox’s latest album, also neosoul. Their energy assist in aligning my chakras. Collectively they have me whipping my hair and doing leaps like I am on stage with the Alvin Ailey dance company. I listened to them all day for 2 weeks during work, cooking, shower, in the car and as I cleaned up. I began to get back to performing my 5-minute meditation with Rodney Yee, going to the gym faithfully, yoga on the weekends. It worked! Leading into my birthday weekend I was excited and ready to have a good time.
Thursday: You know your local hole in the wall spot in the hood? That’s where I landed, my “Classy So Sassy Crew” had pumped me up all day with gifs and emojis. I was ready to jam, I was pressed to finish the work day! We drank, laughed, Kiki-ed, made videos, and took over for the 99 and 2000s. LOL Some of my friends I hadn’t seen for months.! They shined a light on me and I got low like my name was Ericka Thee Stallion! After the second birthday song my knees and I wanted to kill the DJ! I couldn’t let them down though, so I continued to light the floor on fire! It was the perfect night good times with good people is like free therapy.